Listen well to me my friends, for I have a tale to tell. No love ballad this, but a lament. You will never again hear a story of such yearning or of a love this keen; so attend to me. I will tell you of a time long ago in a magical place....
Malibu Speed Zone. It had a go-kart track and a putt-putt course and best of all, an arcade. Not just any arcade, but on Saturdays, you could pay $10 a person and play unlimited games for 2 hours. I will say it again for emphasis: UNLIMITED GAMES. My father (the greatest man evah) would take me in, pay my fee and then I would run rampant. Every machine had credits on it,and all you had to do was press start. Want to play Dragon's Lair? Just push start. Want to play Neo-Geo's Fatal Fury? Push Start. Virtua Fighter (POLYGONS!)? Revolution X (Aerosmith's game)? The Simpsons? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? X-Men? Street-Fighter 2 Turbo? Daytona USA? Tekken? Gauntlet? All these and more for FREE (free for me, thank you dad).
If by random happenstance, you ran out of credits, and the dreaded countdown started, all you had to do was yell, scream really(I mean, it IS counting down and you don't want to have to start over and you have been playing for like 5 minutes and if your game ends that weird smelling older kid with acne and braces is going to make you move....) and some world-weary 15 year old with a broken soul would come over with a key on a chain to open the metal door where the quarters go in and give you more credits, thus allowing you to continue your quest.
Those were the best Saturdays I have ever had (sorry dear). I tore those machines up. I guarantee you that they never made any money off of me or my father. I like to imagine that the sweaty, balding, lives-in-the-back-office manager weeping as he totals up the days receipts.
One time, I even brought friends. The four of us wrecked so much pixelated havoc that it was likened unto Ragnarok. There was no maiden unrescued, no fight not fought, no alien not repulsed. It was amazing. They even sold candy. (Poprocks!)
My sons will never know such beauty. They will never have an experience like that. They will never hold a disturbingly warm and slightly damp joystick in one hand and feverishly pound buttons with the other while screaming at their friend to please, for the love that is all holy! Cover your side of the screen, I'm tired of getting hit just because you can't protect the flank properly. PUT YOUR INHALER DOWN YOU CAN BREATHE WHEN WE WIN!!
Sure, there are still arcade games and arcades, but the environment is completely different. For one, arcade games now are crazy expensive, most dedicated places are skewed for 'adults' and include way to many 'prize games'. Also, I'm pretty sure no one understands quarter etiquette any more. And good luck finding a package like that. That would be like finding a super-model who wants to DM your 3.5 D&D campaign (she doesn't like 4e) and who has an indepth understanding of the Pre-Crisis DC Universe. AND wants to date you and doesn't mind that you live in your mother's basement (it's cost effective and endearing).
I know video games today are better than they were back then. I grew up with games. The very first one I played was Pong with my dad on our Atari 2600. I have seen and played hundreds (maybe thousands?) of games. And the games today are so much better now. I'm not even just talking about the graphics. It's really everything. We recently let my son pick out a PS1 game to download on the PS3, and it looked like a monkey was the art director and then smeared vaseline on my TV. Total crap. And the controls! It was like they didn't even HAVE a physics engine!
But those Saturday mornings at Malibu Speed Zone, nothing will ever beat that.
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